Why we love some Asian cuisines and not others (@ Peril Magazine)

My latest blog post for Peril (Asian-Australian Arts & Culture Magazine) is about why some ethnic cuisines become so much more popular than others.

Yet it is also testament to the entrepreneurial spirit of certain ethnic groups who spread themselves around the globe and discovered they could carve out a successful niche in the restaurant business. Worldwide, few groups have done this as successfully as the Chinese, Italians, Indians and Lebanese. So it’s hard to talk about the success of the food itself without looking at the culture that produces it. The most successful culinary exports come from cultures that not only celebrate their own food (Italians being the best example of this), but also have a strong drive towards small business ownership. 

 Check it here.

Asians impersonating Christopher Walken

Some of these are lame and weird, but the fact that this video exists at all is why the internet is the best thing ever invented.
The first dude is pretty cool.

Friends and foes: On race and comedy

I've seen a few comments here and there about race and humour, following the video that went viral of Brett Eidman getting punched out for racially taunting Asian audience members under the guise of comedy. It's an issue that regularly comes up whenever a comedian or other celebrity says something about race: why do some people get away with race-based jokes and others don't? Why does someone like Eidman catch a beating for making fun of a particular race, while the likes of Dave Chappelle and Russell Peters have made a very lucrative living out of it?

I've written on this matter before, but I have a little more to add.

I should first state that even the likes of Chappelle, Peters and others who do it well can still cross the line sometimes, so we shouldn't look at this in overly simplistic terms. But overall, there is a difference between them and someone like Eidman, or like Michael Richards in the rant at black people that so severely damaged his reputation.

For the most part, the good guys play with the stereotypes rather than just regurgitate them; their comedy involves a degree of intelligence; they do not display contempt for the race they are making fun of; and most importantly, they are actually funny.

To a large extent, it comes down to whether the comedian comes across as a friend or a foe.

What does that mean? Think of Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock, who routinely make fun of both black people and white people, and most everyone else for that matter. But rarely if ever would a reasonable person conclude from their jokes that they don't like any of those races. Which is perhaps why their fanbase extends well beyond the black community. Likewise, Russell Peters has based his career almost entirely on ethnic stereotypes, and is perhaps best known for routines poking fun at Chinese people. Yet you will always find Chinese people in his audience.

Peters, to a certain extent, gets Chinese culture and Chinese people, at least more than the average non-Chinese observer. His riffs on the Chinese go beyond the lazy stereotypes that have been done to death. He does accents well enough that it's obvious that he has studied their nuances rather than just the superficial. It's pretty clear that Peters has hung out with a lot of Chinese people (and most everyone else he pokes fun at) and views them with respect. He is a "friend".

Other comedians, however, seem like foes. Using Brett Eidman as the obvious example, there is no love or respect for Asian people in his repulsive "Dom Fok" character. Slanty-eye glasses and a dumb "ching chong Chinaman" accent suggest contempt for Asians, as does repeating stupid, played-out lines like "Me love you long time" and "Me so horny". He comes across like a schoolyard bully, taunting someone just because they look different.

Friends can poke fun at each other about their race and culture, and for the most part it's okay because you know that joking aside, the friend still respects you and what you are. That's an entirely different thing from being a bully.

Knowing where that line is is a hard thing to know, of course. It's one reason why conservatives often don't seem to get why the likes of Rush Limbaugh is routinely branded a racist for his racial jokes, when more left-leaning comedians are let off the hook.

Check this clip of Rich Vos talking to a primarily black crowd. He's doing something lesser comedians wouldn't get away with - making fun of black people, as a group, to their faces. He's actually doing something very clever - he is making fun of black comics who make fun of white people, yet is indirectly making fun of black people in general. And apart from one dumb heckler, the crowd are on his side, and even seem to appreciate the balls it takes to say what he is saying. Why? Perhaps because it feels like there is an affection behind his poking fun, his execution is so smart. And he's funny. Being genuinely funny can help you get away with a lot.

The natural consequence of being a dickwad

This clip has been getting around the Asian- and comedy-related corners of teh interwebz. (Hat tip: BigWowo.) Alleged comic Brett Eidman catches one upside the head after making one too many dumb racist cracks at Asian audience members, George and Rachel. Something about it looks fake, but I think it's probably real.



Now, I'm an anti-violence advocate (seriously, that's part of my actual job), but sometimes I have to admit that getting punched in the face might be the only way certain people learn to stop being such a douchebag.

There's nothing intrinsically wrong with racial humour, but you need to be legitimately funny to pull it off. Dave Chappelle and Russell Peters can do it. Brett Eidman clearly has no idea. I mean come on, "Me so horny?" "Me love you long time?" You just know the next thing out of his mouth would have been "Suckee suckee" if George hadn't put his fist in it.

Likewise, it's one thing for a comedian to give members of the audience a little ribbing; anyone sitting in the front row of a comedy gig needs to be prepared for that. It's also common for comics to ridicule hecklers. But sexually inappropriate and dumb racist put-downs to a couple who were just minding their own business... it's a dick move.

A lot of the discussion about this around the web is about whether or not it's staged. Certain aspects of it do smell a little fake. But if it's an attempt by Eidman to get some viral publicity, as has been suggested, it seems odd. There's no way this could be good publicity, surely? Unless it's targeting that lucrative demographic of people with victimised-white-guy syndrome and no sense of humour.

Thanks to the wonder of social media, we can note that Eidman has been doing that same character as part of his shitty act for a while now. You can see it in this video at the 5:45 mark, if you really must. On his Facebook page, Eidman posts the clip of him being hit, and comments:

"I took one for the team and it goes viral. Thank you, I think." 

 and:

"Sometimes comedy really sucks. Rest in Peace Dom Fok. Thank you for being part of my set for so many years. I love doing this character, but it’s time to say goodbye. I was told many years ago by a couple of big time comedian friends that this was the kind of bit that could get me noticed. They were wrong. I also thought the stage was the only safe place to truly express myself. I was wrong. I will heal and regroup and hit the stage again soon. I’m just glad this ass wipe didn’t have a gun. Thank you and goodnight."

The fan comments there are quite interesting to read; they actually make it sound like the Dom Fok character was some kind of noble artistic expression.

Those "big time comedian friends" of his should have had a word in his ear that not only is that bit fairly offensive, it's just not funny to anyone who is not a moron. They were right about one thing though; it did get him noticed.

Hopefully Eidman learns something from this experience.

______________________________
See also:

Racial humour: is it ever okay?

"Tim Tam from Vietnam"... or how NOT to make jokes about Asians

Things Asians are freakily good at, #214: Scrabble

Here's something you probably never thought or cared about: There are World Scrabble Championships. And national championships. And youth championships, and so on. Just like any other ... er, sport. And given that Scrabble is an English-language game, you would probably expect it to be dominated by nations where the English and their descendants live - the UK, the US, Australia, Canada, New Zealand.
And traditionally you would be right. Except in recent years, people from Asian countries are making serious pushes for the crown. And actually winning. Here are the winners of the world championships since the late 90s:

Doesn't convince you of anything? (Other that Asians seem to do better in Asia?) Take a look at last year's placings at the World Youth Scrabble Championships:

Count 'em: that's two Sri Lankans, two Thais, a Singaporean and a Filipino in the top ten. And yes, it was won by an Australian, but an Australian named Anand Bharadwaj. It's not just 2011 either; you can look at the last few years of the youth tournament and it's pretty much a story of unremitting Asian dominance. In fairness, most of the tournaments take place in Malaysia for some reason, so maybe that dissuades some northern hemisphere Scrabble aficionados from travelling. But 2006 took place in Australia, and even though it was won by an Australian, 8 out of the top 10 were from Asian countries that year.

It's not that surprising really. If you've seen the way kids of South Asian origin completely dominate  the American national spelling bee championships, or the way that East Asian's seem to dominate any academic pursuit they apply themselves to, it stands to reason that some of them are going to take to Scrabble with a passion.

The other country that pops up in these lists which you might not have expected: Nigeria.

What is really surprising though is how Thailand has come to be one of the pre-eminent nations in world Scrabble. All the other countries on these lists have English as at least one of the official languages. Thailand does not. Thais do take to learning English with aplomb though, probably due to the huge tourist presence there, and apparently the popularity of Scrabble in Thailand comes from its usefulness as a tool for learning English.

 

“Some lucky lady in NYC is gonna feel a couple of inches of pain tonight.”

Ok, so let’s just say you are watching a basketball game. The game is dominated by a young man who was a virtual unknown a week ago, yet has suddenly exploded on the scene as an exciting emerging talent. He leads his previously struggling team to victory with an extraordinary 38-point game.

Which is your immediate reaction:

(a) Appreciate the skill and talent of the young star to inspire his team to the win?

(b) Grumble because you support the team that he helped defeat? 

(c) Shrug, change the channel and watch something else?

or 

(d) Get on twitter and make a joke about how due to his race, you think the player’s penis is probably quite small?

If you answered (a),( b) or (c), you are probably a normal and well-adjusted human being. Answer (d) and you might have cause to wonder: Why did my mind go there? It’s a basketball game. It doesn’t really have anything to do with penises.

If you answered (d), you are probably Jason Whitlock from Fox Sports, who today apologised for his offensive tweet.

Now, since Twitter is the world's premier forum for idiots to express their every idiotic waking thought to the world, I tend to forgo commenting on racist tweets. Gosh, someone tweeted something stupid and offensive? I'm amazed. Who would have ever imagined such a thing could happen on a medium on which the two most commonly-used words are probably "OMG" and "LOL"?

But I thought this deserved further comment for a couple of reasons.

First, why are so many people obsessed with Asian men's junk? As I've mentioned before on this blog, the vagaries of internet search engines mean that a disturbing proportion of the views I get everyday are people googling "Asian cock" or "is Ken Jeong's penis real?" (And yes, it's rather saddening to be the go-to blog for people who have nothing better to do but obsess over Ken Jeong's tiny genitalia. But I digress.)

But I understand why someone who watched The Hangover would have some fascination with Ken Jeong's tackle. But it's less clear perhaps why someone like Jason Whitlock thought to make an Asian-dick-joke after watching Jeremy Lin torch the Lakers for 38 points. It's also less clear why he thought it was funny. Or why he thought the world needed to hear yet another Asian-dick-joke at all.


Don't get me wrong, I’m quite open to humour based on ethnic stereotypes. Yes, such jokes can often be extremely offensive, but within the right context and with sufficient level of wit, they can be extremely funny. I admit: I’ve certainly made my share of Asian-dick jokes in my time, often about myself. A Chinese-Indonesian close friend of mine once quipped about me, after hearing me sing, "He has the soul of a black man but the genitals of a Chinaman". Come on, admit it, that's some funny shit.

The problem is that within a form of humour that by its very nature dances around the borders of what is racially offensive and inappropriate, not everyone is clever enough to tell an ethnic-stereotype-joke that is funny and witty enough to transcend its inherent uncomfortableness.

And the context around which the joke is told can go some way to making it more acceptable or less. If Jeremy Lin was caught making a sex tape, or made Ken Jeong-style nude cameos in films, it might be somewhat understandable (and sadly inevitable) that someone is going to dredge up the small-penis stereotype in a joke. But when a basketballer who happens to be Asian-American scores 38 points in a game, I’m not sure why the first thoughts of someone like Jason Whitlock appear to be all about the sex he thinks Jeremy Lin is going to be getting, post-game (which is unlikely to happen anyway if Lin’s very public religious beliefs are any indication), but also about the dimensions of Lin’s genitalia in such a situation.

Just think on that for a second: if you watch someone produce a fantastic basketball performance and immediately start thinking about how big his penis is, that's probably something you need to sort out with your therapist.

_______________
See also:

The Asian penis in popular culture

"Tim Tam from Vietnam". Or, how NOT to make jokes about Asians.

Race, IQ and penis size

"He looks good for an Asian."

A reader emailed me this question:

What do u think when ppl say things like, "he/she looks good for an Asian/black person"? Do u think it's offensive? It's like many ppl ive met in the usa think that whites look better than others, and some would say "you are pretty for a (black) girl". Why is this? I don't think they are racist. Just strongly favoring the Caucasian look. Which can't be helped and isn't their fault...but I find it sad and kind of disturbing.

This is a pretty common thing. I've heard these sorts of comments made about various races.
 
And yes, of course that's offensive. It doesn't mean they hate blacks/Asians/whatever, but they clearly have a perspective (whether conscious or not) that whites are naturally more attractive than others. The person saying might think it's a compliment, but it's an extremely backhanded one.
 
When someone says, for example:
 
"You are pretty for a black girl",
 
they are effectively saying:
 
"I believe black women are instrinsically quite ugly. However, you are not like the rest of them; you are actually quite pretty. Mind you, you are probably not as pretty as most white women, because white women are intrinsically prettier than black women. But, as that ugly race of black women go, you are one of the better ones."
 
So, no, it's not really a compliment.


I don't really have any problem with someone thinking such things - we all have our own preferences, after all - but to say it out loud not only makes the person look ignorant, but will probably offend people too.

The problem with "he/she looks good for an Asian/black person" -type comments is that it assumes some sort of objective measure of physical attractiveness. While good looks can be objectively measured to a certain extent, a significant element of what we find attractive is culturally defined. Which is to say, influenced by cultural values and prevailing trends. Some examples would be South Asians preferring light skin or black dudes liking women with "thick" figures". The ancient Chinese practice of foot-binding for women, or the practice of blackening women's teeth in medieval Japan, are examples of standards of beauty that exist in a specific context but seem downright bizarre today.

And the other extremely important aspect to attraction is of course personal taste. Two men growing up in the same cultural circumstances can have very different preferences. One may like brunettes, the other redheads. One may like curvy, busty women, the other may prefer a small and thin figure.

So to say that someone is or isn't attractive is not as straightforward as some might think. While it might be possible to speak on behalf of what you think other people might agree on, ultimately we can only speak of our personal opinions.

And even if the person who said "You are pretty for a black girl", instead said something more correct like, "I don't normally find black girls that attractive, but I find you to be very pretty", he would still sound like a bit of a jerk.

So if someone is good-looking and you need to comment on it, perhaps it's best to do so without the qualifier.  Stick with the "he's good looking" and leave out the "... for an Asian" part. It will just highlight your ignorance.

To paraphrase the theme song of an 80s sitcom:

"... the world don't move to the beat of just one drum... what might be hot to you may not be hot to some."

Things I read in 2011 (@ Peril Magazine)

I have another post up as part of my regular blogging gig at Peril Magazine. It's entitled 5 Asian-related things I read in 2011 that you should too. A brief review of 3 books and a couple of online articles. Check it here.

Asian parents again

Surely someone's singing wasn't that bad...

Bats and poles used in karaoke brawl
Baseball bats and metal poles were used in a brawl outside a karaoke bar early this morning with six men taken to hospital for treatment.
Police received reports of a large fight in front of the bar in Railway Parade North, Glen Waverley around 3am when it's believed 10 men attacked a large group of patrons leaving the premises.
Acting Sergeant Alex Goodman said the attackers fled quickly and that police were unable to determine whether the attack was gang related or what the motive might have been.
"This is a particularly disturbing and brutal attack carried out in the main street in Glen Waverley. This group were all wearing hoodies and had their faces covered at the time," acting Sergeant Goodman said.

WTF Asian people? Ok so I don't know for a fact yet that the assailants were Asian, but I'd bet a small sum of money on it. The victims were certainly Asian.

Come on people, this is messed up. How is possible that the words "karaoke" and "disturbing and brutal attack" can be used in the same article? (Well actually...)

Comparing Asian-Australians and Asian-Americans (@ Peril Magazine)

So I have another post up at Peril, this one is about the similarities and differences between Asians in Australia and the US. Byron Wong of the Asian-American blog BigWowo helped me with a few details.

Because the Asian-Australian community is on the whole a little younger than that of Asian-Americans, we arguably remain more “Asian”, since there are fewer of the older generation who were born in Australia or grew up here. In addition to this, Australia takes in proportionally far more international students than the US; our nation of 22 million has around 280,000 international students, whereas the US has 670,000 international students but in a population of 308 million. This means that Asian international students have a considerably greater cultural and numerical impact on Australia than they do in the US. Through them, Australian-raised Asians find another avenue of connecting with Asian culture, and they seem to keep us a bit more “fobby” than Asian-Americans.

Full post here.

The Asian Menace

Randomly encountered this, from The Chaser's War on Everything from a few years back. Amusing.

Asians are "rape-ish"

One of the myriad things I do with my life is answering questions on Yahoo Answers, mostly questions about my areas of professional expertise (sexual assault, domestic violence, etc). Given that the interwebs are so rife with erroneous, ignorant and objectionable opinions, it's important to put some informed opinion out there, under a pseudonym of course.

Anyway, I couldn't resist answering this question today and sharing it with you. It tells you a lot about how stereotypes are created. Note the opening "I'm not racist, but..." -type line which is obligatory just before saying something racist.

And my response:

"How to be Asian".... um....

Reader Leilani Torres sent me the link to this clip, and I'm not quite sure to make of it.

I know there's not enough time in the world to discuss every instance of someone putting something racially provocative on the Youtubes; I just found this rather interesting because it bears such a resemblance to Alexandra Wallace's "ching chong ting tong ling long" clip that became infamous a few months back. But at the same time, this one seems so ridiculous that it seems more of a joke and not really anything to get worked up about. The comments at WorldStarHipHop where this came from are mostly hateful (the term "f****** b**** is used frequently - I have no idea what that could mean). But I dunno. I still think this is dumb, but then so is most of the crap on Youtube. But I didn't actually find it particularly offensive. Should I have? Let me know what you think.

From around the interwebs... Asian parenting, education and achievement

Three interesting articles I've chanced across this week...


How to raise a global kid

Taking Tiger Mom tactics to radical new heights, these parents are packing up the family for a total Far East Immersion.


Happy Rogers, age 8, stands among her classmates in the schoolyard at dismissal time, immune, it seems, to the cacophonous din. Her parents and baby sister are waiting outside, but still she lingers, engrossed in conversation. A poised and precocious blonde, Hilton Augusta Parker Rogers, nicknamed Happy, would be at home in the schoolyard of any affluent American suburb or big-city private school. But here, at the elite, bilingual Nanyang Primary School in Singapore, Happy is in the minority, her Dakota Fanning hair shimmering in a sea of darker heads. This is what her parents have traveled halfway around the world for. While her American peers are feasting on the idiocies fed to them by junk TV and summer movies, Happy is navigating her friendships and doing her homework entirely in Mandarin.

Asians Underrepresented in Senior Ranks, Study Says

Despite relatively high salaries and an outsized share of Ivy League degrees, Asian-Americans are underrepresented in executive suites, according to a study released Monday.

 One-quarter of Asian respondents said they face workplace discrimination, while only 4% of Caucasians believe Asians are treated unfairly on the job. According to the report, Asian-American workers are also more likely than other minority workers to work less or consider quitting because of bias."In Asia, there's a saying that the loudest duck gets shot; in America it's: the squeaky wheel gets the grease," said Ms. Hyun. "These things are totally different and at odds with each other."

Ironically, the relative success of Asian workers may be exacerbating the problem. To date, few companies have had career development programs for Asian employees, because they are seen as a "model minority," according to the report.


Ripa Rashid, a coauthor of the report, said that the survey reveals something that she hears often from workers and managers: Asian-American employees are culturally uncomfortable with the type of swagger and self-promotion that often spells success in U.S. firms.


The study also showed that Asian employees may be less comfortable sharing their personal lives with coworkers and less likely to enlist more senior coworkers as mentors or sponsors.


"They just put their heads down and work and believe that's all it takes to get to the top," Ms. Rashid said.

 
Tiger Mothers or Elephant Mothers? by Peter Singer

Tiger mothering might seem to be a useful counterbalance to such permissiveness, but both extremes leave something out. Chua’s focus is unrelentingly on solitary activities in the home, with no encouragement of group activities, or of concern for others, either in school or in the wider community. Thus, she appears to view school plays as a waste of time that could be better spent studying or practicing music.

But to take part in a school play is to contribute to a community good. If talented children stay away, the quality of the production will suffer, to the detriment of the others who take part (and of the audience that will watch it). And all children whose parents bar them from such activities miss the opportunity to develop social skills that are just as important and rewarding – and just as demanding to master – as those that monopolize Chua’s attention.


We should aim for our children to be good people, and to live ethical lives that manifest concern for others as well as for themselves. This approach to child-rearing is not unrelated to happiness: there is abundant evidence that those who are generous and kind are more content with their lives than those who are not. But it is also an important goal in its own right.

See also:

Summation of Wesley Yang's "Paper Tigers"

Asian kids, Jewish education

On hardass Asian parents

So I finally read "Tiger Mother"

Heineken's "The Date" ad

Ok, so check this new ad from Heineken. It's called "The Date" and it's pretty cool. But there was something in it that sorta piqued my interest.

Yes, it's the white guy/ Asian girl pairing.

Now, before some of you start to get your back up, let me say something first up. There are some Asian guys out there who have a degree of hostility to that kind of relationship, and who would dismiss the guy as a rice chaser and the girl as having some kind of self-loathing. I'm not really one of those people. I'm a product of such a relationship, for a start, and I'm in a inter-ethnic relationship of my own (she's Indian).

I like to see Asians get some representation on the screen. But the problem is that it's primarily Asian women, and when those Asian women get some lovin', it is almost always with a white guy. Of course, white guy/ Asian girl couples are commonplace in real life, so it's expected that you'd see them a bit on screen. Yet the clear majority of Asian women in Western countries choose to date or marry Asian guys, and portrayals of Asian-Asian couples are surprisingly rare. Perhaps there is a limited amount of Asian-ness producers think their audiences can handle, and two Asians in a relationship is one too many.

And a white woman with an Asian guy? According to TV and film, such a thing may as well not exist. (Note to pedants: there are exceptions to this, I know, but I'm talking overall.)

So while the frequent portrayal of white guy/ Asian girl couples does to some extent reflect reality, bear in mind that popular culture doesn't just reflect reality, it shapes it. And the portrayal of Asian men in popular culture tends to vary between poor and non-existent. When the highest profile Asian male actor in the West is Ken Jeong, best known for exposing his very underwhelming penis in The Hangover, you know that things aren't that healthy.

So as you watch the dashing white dude in the above video, sweeping the hot Asian girl off her feet in an Asian restaurant (aka "her natural environment"), ask yourself this. Why did it have to be that particular racial combination?

In isolation, it's just a couple, and their racial combination is no more significant than any other racial combination. If you look at it as part of an overall trend, then it might start to bother you a little.

The junk that's on everyone's lips

I've experienced a marked upsurge in blog traffic recently. While I'd like to think that the world is finally taking notice of my considerable genius, it has much more to do with the vagaries of Google searches.

I once wrote a post entitled The Asian penis in popular culture, which is about how mocking the alleged size of Asian men's genitalia has a tacit acceptance in movies and television. Part of that post contains a reference to actor Ken Jeong, who appears stark naked in both Hangover movies, revealing what could probably be described as a micropenis.

That one page has received 2,357 hits this week alone. Why?

Well, The Hangover 2 has just come out, and it turns out that if you type in "Ken Jeong penis", my blog is the second entry listed. Hooray for me! I've finally achieved my ultimate blogging ambition: to be a haven for people who possibly have a unhealthy obsession with Ken Jeong and his miniscule junk.

So I present to you, in all it's glory... the Ken Jeong-related search terms that have led people to my blog this week.

ken jeong tiny penis
ken jeong's small penis
Ken Jeong Mini penis
is ken jeong dick really that small?
ken jeong tiny dick
ken jeong was naked
ken jeong actual penis size
ken jeong cock
tiny penis ken jeoung
does ken jeong have a penis?
is ken jeong's penis small?
how big is Ken Jeong dick
ken jeong genitalien
ken jeongs small dick
does ken jeong have the world's smallest dick?
is ken jeongs penis really that small?
ken jeong penis podcast
Ken Jeong penis naked
ken jeong small penis picture
asian penis hangover
ken jeong + penis
is ken jeong's penis that small?
why does ken jeong have a small penis?
ken jeong real penis size
does ken jeong really have a small dick?
is ken jeongs penis that small?
Ken Jeong small penis

The other blog post of mine that generates the most traffic is Race, IQ and penis size. So if you're smart and you're a blogger, you'll clearly realise that the way to generate maximum blog hits is to write about penises as much as you can. You could just call your blog "Penis Blog" and in no time you'd become the Bill Gates of blogging.

And for the record: yes, it's real. Apparently that is his tiny little dong.

So on behalf of men of Asian ancestry everywhere, I say: thanks a f*cking bunch, Ken. It's one thing to have the kind of pecker that even small rodents would find inadequate. But did you have to exhibit it quite so much? You are now the poster boy for Asian penises. What about those of us who have regular sized junk? How do you think that makes us look? If, God forbid, The Hangover 3 ever gets released, we may reach the point where no woman will be able to contemplate getting their swerve on with an Asian man without worrying about the possibility that he suffers from a case of Jeong-dong. So keep the damn thing in your pants.


In other whang-related news, the other penis that everyone is talking about is that of New York congressman Anthony Weiner (yeah, I know), who is accused of sending a picture of his robustly bulging underpants to some young woman on Twitter. Weiner claims someone hacked into his account.

The Daily Show is having a lot of fun with this story as you'd expect.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Circumcision 2011 - Between a C*#k and a Hard Place - Weiner Investigation
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Big Wang Theory
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

So I finally read "...Tiger Mother"

Given that Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother came out in January, this post is not exactly topical, but I figured it was better late than never. Plus I did have a bit to say about Chua and her book at the time (here, here, here and here), without actually having read it, so perhaps this will complete the circle.

Amy Chua is a woman who has garnered an enormous amount of hatred in the last few months. The problem is this: the vast majority of the people directing the hatred at her have not actually read her book.

Instead, what most people base their Tiger-Mom-expertise on is the Wall Street Journal article which rocketed Chua to fame. Thing is, that article takes bits and pieces of her book out of context, slaps a provocative title on it (Why Chinese Mothers are Superior) and garners both fame, dollars and death threats for Amy Chua. The WSJ piece comes across as simultaneously an assault on the alleged moral laziness of "Western" parenting, and an unabashed glorification of sadistically hardass Asian parenting, the kind that presumably leads to straight-As in math, a place at a prestigious university, and possibly a stress-related burnout and therapy by age 24. But that's not really the entire story of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.

Chua complained about being taken out of context, and she's right. And for anyone who actually wants to dig even a centimetre below the surface of this issue, it's not too hard to see why. Firstly, check the front cover, underneath the title. It reads:

This is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen-year-old.

So straight away, it's apparent that there's more to this than "Chinese mothers rule, Western mothers suck."

Secondly, anyone with basic levels of comprehension should be able to discern that there is a cheekily humorous streak that runs through the excerpts in the WSJ article, in passages like this:

Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children's own desires and preferences. That's why Chinese daughters can't have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can't go to sleepaway camp. It's also why no Chinese kid would ever dare say to their mother, "I got a part in the school play! I'm Villager Number Six. I'll have to stay after school for rehearsal every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and I'll also need a ride on weekends." God help any Chinese kid who tried that one.

So my assumption from day one was that what to some came across as cruel arrogance in that article was at least partly Chua exaggerating for effect. Which is why I was prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt, and defended her on a few other blogs where commenters tore into her for all kinds of things, either real or imagined. (Those things include being married to a white guy, and being born in the Philippines and thus being insufficiently Chinese.) I just figured that it's best not to rush to judge something you haven't actually read yet.

The book itself is very easy to read, while occasionally causing great discomfort at the extremes Chua describes going to in order to bend her rebellious younger daughter to her will. She seems to be often brutally honest about this, and in writing it was almost certainly aware of how horrible it sometimes makes her sound. Indeed, much of it is obviously self-parody. But most of all, understand that this is a warts-and-all story of a journey through parenting, in which Chua gradually comes to the realisation that Chinese parenting (or at least her idea of it) is far from perfect.

That's a key point. This book is not a parenting manual. It is a memoir, which details both ups and downs, and which ends up questioning many of the assumptions that are stated at the beginning of the book.

I certainly didn't finish the book thinking Chua was a great parent, or deciding that this kind of Chinese parenting model would be the right one for me. But it did make me think a lot about what kind of parent I'm going to be in the future, and what kind of discipline and encouragement I will apply to my offspring. Particular for me as a person whose social circle contains a large number of Asian high-achievers, but whose own more relaxed upbringing has led me down a path that is rather less orthodox, yet just as rewarding in different ways.

Any artist or writer needs to be mindful of how their work will be interpreted by the public. And it is true that Amy Chua's work has stirred up a heap of anxieties from Asian-Americans worried about the perpetuation of the model minority stereotypes, and from traumatised survivors of Tiger parenting. As well as a fair share of racists looking to vent their resentments towards Asians and their academic achievements. My main gripe with Chua is that she has made Chinese parenting synonymous with Amy Chua parenting. And while there are many Chinese (and other ethnicity) kids who identify with the hardassed-ness Chua describes, that quality may have manifested itself only in certain ways, to a less extreme extent. In a sense, it may also serve to devalue the intelligence of Chinese youngsters in the public perception, promulgating the view that rather than being smart or creative, they are merely super-efficient products of some kind of parenting sweatshop.

But by the same token, virtually any person whose writings appear in the public domain would agree that you can't control how others take you out of context. And it's not Amy Chua's fault that a lot of people only know how to interpret things in the worst way possible.

I enjoyed reading the book very much, but I'm not in any rush to be a Tiger Parent. And personally, I'm very glad that my own mother was and is nothing like Amy Chua. But those of you who are looking for a villain in this story would be better off pointing fingers at the Wall Street Journal, which presented Chua's story in the most controversial and sensationalist light possible.

Asian kids, Jewish education

Having just spent a couple of weeks doing teaching placement at a Jewish school, I by chance happened to meet the father of one of the students. Nothing unusual there, except that he was Asian - as far as I could tell, an immigrant from China - and as far as I could tell, not one of the Chosen People. His son was one of a couple of students of apparent Chinese background who I had noticed at this school.
I asked this parent, in as tactful a way as possible, about the Jewish connection. There was none, he happily said, but he figured that it was a good school and that was good enough for him. His son, as far as I could tell, is content and accepted as the rare Asian face amongst a student body that is overwhelmingly made up of Ashkenazi Jews. The school is fairly secular, but is nonetheless very proud of its Jewishness and connections to Israel; it's culturally rather than religiously Jewish.

In any case, it's still an unusual choice for a non-Jewish Chinese student. Yet my Hong Kong-born friend Helen did her high schooling at a Jewish school in Melbourne as well. She was the only Asian student there. Like the Chinese parent I met recently, Helen's parents presumably figured that the Jewish emphasis on high academic achievement bode well for their daughter.

I've spent time in a lot of schools, and come across Hindu and Sikh students in Christian schools, which I assume is due to those schools being the best in a particular district.

I guess it's not altogether surprising, really. Certain Asian cultures are obsessed with their children's academic achievements. So some Asian parents have reasoned that having their child immersed in someone else's religion or culture is a small price to pay for a top-class education. Indeed, they may even regard the exposure to a different religious tradition as beneficial to that education.

So there are some shared values between Jews and Asians in regard to the primacy of education. But do they value the same type of education?

Coincidentally, BigWOWO has a good post up about Jewish culture valuing the humanities as a core aspect of education in a way that Asians typically do not. I happen to agree. At the Jewish school I observed a explicit push in the curriculum to teach students to think critically and philosophically from a very early age. I think it's fantastic.

Asian parenting tends to have a different focus though. Amy Chua, who put Chinese-style parenting (or at least a version of it) in the headlines with her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, makes it quite clear in the opening pages what the priorities are in her children's education. Maths is big. Piano and/or violin are essential. Drama and sport, not so much. Other instruments, not so much. Indeed, I had to do a double take the first time I met a young woman of Chinese background who had not learned either piano or violin, but instead was learning to play the djembe. You don't see many Chinese parents clamoring for their kids to learn African drums. Chua ironically has a Jewish husband, and daughters who are raised to see themselves as Jewish, yet her approach to education is thoroughly Chinese.

As someone whose circle of friends is dominated by South and East Asians, it almost goes without saying that virtually everyone I hang with either has a university degree or is studying for it, and got grades in high school that put me to shame.

But particularly among East Asians, I notice plenty of business-brains and math-brains and IT-brains, but very few humanities-brains. Which is fine; it's not hard to see the greater perks of a degree in medicine or pharmacy as opposed to say, a Masters in philosophy. But I fear that Asian culture is so obsessed with churning out children who grow up to have only traditionally-valued careers, that we will lose something in the way of imagination and innovation. Or even just the ability to be interesting in conversation.

As is pointed out in BigWOWO's article, and returning to the theme with which I began this one, there is perhaps something Asians can learn from the Jewish approach to education. In the US, ethnic Indians, Japanese and Jews are amongst the very highest-performing groups in terms of wealth and education, yet notably Jews have achieved their success in a broader range of fields, from hard sciences to the entertainment industry. To my mind, that suggests that their community is maximising the diverse range of talents contained within it, rather than trying to turn everyone into a doctor.


See also:

Gina Yashere - The Pushy Nigerian Mum

Goodness Gracious Me - Typical Asian Parents

"Kung Fooled"

The new short film from Wong Fu Productions has fun with racial stereotypes while also turning them on their head.

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