Friday 3 June 2011

The junk that's on everyone's lips

I've experienced a marked upsurge in blog traffic recently. While I'd like to think that the world is finally taking notice of my considerable genius, it has much more to do with the vagaries of Google searches.

I once wrote a post entitled The Asian penis in popular culture, which is about how mocking the alleged size of Asian men's genitalia has a tacit acceptance in movies and television. Part of that post contains a reference to actor Ken Jeong, who appears stark naked in both Hangover movies, revealing what could probably be described as a micropenis.

That one page has received 2,357 hits this week alone. Why?

Well, The Hangover 2 has just come out, and it turns out that if you type in "Ken Jeong penis", my blog is the second entry listed. Hooray for me! I've finally achieved my ultimate blogging ambition: to be a haven for people who possibly have a unhealthy obsession with Ken Jeong and his miniscule junk.

So I present to you, in all it's glory... the Ken Jeong-related search terms that have led people to my blog this week.

ken jeong tiny penis
ken jeong's small penis
Ken Jeong Mini penis
is ken jeong dick really that small?
ken jeong tiny dick
ken jeong was naked
ken jeong actual penis size
ken jeong cock
tiny penis ken jeoung
does ken jeong have a penis?
is ken jeong's penis small?
how big is Ken Jeong dick
ken jeong genitalien
ken jeongs small dick
does ken jeong have the world's smallest dick?
is ken jeongs penis really that small?
ken jeong penis podcast
Ken Jeong penis naked
ken jeong small penis picture
asian penis hangover
ken jeong + penis
is ken jeong's penis that small?
why does ken jeong have a small penis?
ken jeong real penis size
does ken jeong really have a small dick?
is ken jeongs penis that small?
Ken Jeong small penis

The other blog post of mine that generates the most traffic is Race, IQ and penis size. So if you're smart and you're a blogger, you'll clearly realise that the way to generate maximum blog hits is to write about penises as much as you can. You could just call your blog "Penis Blog" and in no time you'd become the Bill Gates of blogging.

And for the record: yes, it's real. Apparently that is his tiny little dong.

So on behalf of men of Asian ancestry everywhere, I say: thanks a f*cking bunch, Ken. It's one thing to have the kind of pecker that even small rodents would find inadequate. But did you have to exhibit it quite so much? You are now the poster boy for Asian penises. What about those of us who have regular sized junk? How do you think that makes us look? If, God forbid, The Hangover 3 ever gets released, we may reach the point where no woman will be able to contemplate getting their swerve on with an Asian man without worrying about the possibility that he suffers from a case of Jeong-dong. So keep the damn thing in your pants.


In other whang-related news, the other penis that everyone is talking about is that of New York congressman Anthony Weiner (yeah, I know), who is accused of sending a picture of his robustly bulging underpants to some young woman on Twitter. Weiner claims someone hacked into his account.

The Daily Show is having a lot of fun with this story as you'd expect.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Circumcision 2011 - Between a C*#k and a Hard Place - Weiner Investigation
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogThe Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Big Wang Theory
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogThe Daily Show on Facebook

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