"How Americans Live Today" - the awesome faux North Korean propaganda video

This is the video that had lots of news outlets thinking it was a real North Korean propaganda film about America. It's a hoax, of course. But despite being hilarious and ridiculous, it's believable because the North Korean government has a history of hilarious and ridiculous propaganda. So enjoy.

Pigeons and snow coffee : yummy.

Sister Deborah - "Uncle Obama"

If you haven't seen this yet, it is simultaneously the best and worst thing you've ever seen.

As I understand it, it's from Ghana and has nothing at all to do with Barack Obama. And I'm quite sure it has little to do with bananas and monkeys either.

Meanwhile, in Japan...

Everyone needs a hobby, I guess.

TOKYO (Reuters) - In the suburbs of Tokyo lives Kenichi Ito, the world's fastest man on four legs.
For nearly a decade, the 29-year-old Ito, long a fan of simians, has been perfecting a running style based on the wiry Patas monkey of Africa, winning himself a Guinness World Record in the process.
"You know, my face and body kind of look like a monkey, so from a young age everybody used to tease me, saying 'monkey, monkey,'" Ito said in his neat apartment, sitting in front of a large poster of a chimpanzee.
"But I wasn't really bothered because I really liked them, and somewhere inside of me I had this ambition to adopt one of their traits. When I saw a monkey that could run fast, I knew I'd found it - and from that point on I practised running like a monkey every day."
For eight-and-a-half years the slender Ito has walked around his neighbourhood on his hands and feet, wearing gloves and cleated shoes. He has turned his household chores into challenges on all fours and squats like a monkey while talking.
Constantly honing his style, he looks for inspiration from across the animal world by using the Internet and a season ticket to the local zoo. So far he's developed six distinct forms of all-fours movement, from his top-speed "gallop" to a more leisurely walking pace. His speed at running 100 metres on all fours, just under 20 seconds, won him a Guinness record.
Occasionally Ito, who survives on money earned through his running as well as part-time jobs, gets together with fellow four-legged running fanatics to race each other. Sometimes, they bring cats and dogs to join in the fun - though a well-trained dog will usually win.
Ito believes so fervently in his form of "sport" that he is convinced athletes of the future will eventually come around to his point of view.
"Certainly four-legged running isn't an Olympic sport yet, but my prediction is that in 500 years' time all track athletes will be running on all fours," he said.
But his passion for simians has not been without setbacks.
"In the streets around here I get stopped by the police, so I went up into the mountains for about a month for a kind of four-legged training camp," Ito said.
"But on the first day, a hunter mistook me for a wild boar, and he tried to shoot me." [Source]

So many questions:
He "survives on money earned through his running". Why didn't my careers counselor tell inform me of this possibility?
Does Kenichi have a girlfriend?
If so, does she also run on all fours?
And how bad is that hunter's eyesight?

My favourite thing in the world, this week - "Pizza Boomerang"

I don't know quite what this is, but I do know that it may just be the best thing in the entire universe.



Suffice to say that I wasn't quite expecting what happens at the 1 minute 45 mark.

Internet, I want to hug you.

Weird spammer names

I'm sure, like me, you get your share of spam entering your mailbox. One thing that I've found increasingly amusing is the names of the spammers - clearly not their real names - which appear to be randomly generated. Some of them come across as pretty regular names, while some of them are names that could possibly be real, but seem to be just too awesome for anyone to have in real life, other than the hero of a 70s blaxploitation flick. Examples:

Houston Justice
Odis Youngblood
Preston Hawk
Ulysses Paige
Wendell Sylvester

Others, again, could possibly real but seem just kinda odd:
Roosevelt Mims
Alsatia Entartre
Tonia Yazzie
Ethyl Kathyrn


My favourites are those that look like odd juxtapositions of Spanish first names and English surnames, to make combinations that seem very unusual in real life (but might be reasonable in a future Hispanicized USA). Examples are:

Salvatore Burton
Ramon Light
German Sims
Maricela McNeal
Juan Stroud

Alphonse Grady
Lucio Hargrove

Raymundo Lane
Marcos Whitman
Graciela Morrow
Refugio Stuart
Porfirio Levine
Luz Hanks
Jorge Head
Marcelo Barry
Moises McCain
Carlo Ayers

Even weirder are the ones that combine Asian first names with European surnames, such as:

Yong Ladner

Mao Evelina

Sung Graham

But my all-time favourite is one that is not just awesome, but seems to represent a future peaceful and unified Middle East. I present to you:

Muhammad Goldstein

That name is just so awesome that I was almost tempted to buy whatever cock-enlarging product he was trying to sell me.

On the topic of spammers, this clip from The Onion from a couple of years back is not only hilarious, but manages to capture the language of the spam industry perfectly.

Random eccentric old Greek guy for the win

Awesome photo of the week

Question: WTF?!?!?

Answer: It's a training drill at Chengdu zoo, for the eventuality that tigers escape and need to be tranquilized.

(Source)

Making pad thai, the vegan black metal way

I wouldn't say this is an authentic version of pad thai, but if you are a vegan black metal type of guy, you probably don't care.

This week in Ninja news...

Don't look now, but the ninjas are taking over. Remember you heard it here first. Not to fear, because as we all know, ninjas are awesome. Although I'm not sure that they are quite as awesome as they once were, if the below evidence is any indication.

There just seems to be an inordinate amount of ninja-related stories in the news recently.

Fortunately some of the ninjas are out for the cause of righteousness:

Ninja protects the not-so-mean streets of Tunbridge Wells
For a crime-fighting Ninja has begun patrolling the streets of Royal Tunbridge Wells scaring off yobs, helping pensioners and rescuing cats from trees. The 25-year-old, who calls himself the ‘Neighbourhood Ninja of Tunbridge Wells’, claims to be a ‘grandmaster’ of the Japanese martial art based on ‘stealth and infiltration’.
His mission is simple – to clean up the streets. Speaking on condition of anonymity he said: ‘It’s my aim to help people, I am inspired by Neighbourhood Watch, which people seem to have forgotten about, so I’ve created Ninja Watch. There is still lots of trouble in Tunbridge Wells and the community does not seem to be as together as it used to be.
‘The message I want to get across is serious, which is about people keeping watch, sticking together and reporting incidents.’
Ch Insp Simon Wilshaw, of Kent Police, said he had not ‘made himself known’ to officers.‘Although we support public spiritedness we do not condone anyone taking the law into their own hands.’
Resident Sally Everson, 43, said: ‘It was very odd, this man dressed all in black was helping these old ladies across the street and they were quite happy to have someone help them.’

All power to the guy, but I'm not sure I'll be truly impressed with his ninja powers until he starts cleaning up the streets of a town slightly more menacing than Tunbridge Wells. To be sure, helping little old ladies across the road is a worthwhile pastime, but I'm not quite sure that it was what the founders of the ancient mystical ninja arts had in mind.

In fact, if you want another example of how ninjas just ain't what they used to be, here's a guy who appears to be invoking the ninja ways in the cause of some mindless destruction and petty crime.

Masked 'ninja' carrying samurai sword terrorizes Pa. town; breaks into 11 cars, attempts to stab man
A man dressed as a ninja and carrying a samurai sword broke into 11 cars in southwest Pennsylvania and tried to stab a man who confronted him, cops said. Cops said the masked-marauder terrorized an area of South Union Township between midnight and 1 a.m. on Sunday, smashing the windows of cars and creeping through yards.
Resident Santino Guzzo told Pittsburgh's WTAE television he was in his car investigating after neighbors repeatedly heard glass breaking and car alarms when he spotted the black-clad goon hiding out in a yard. When he confronted the ninja, Guzzo said the thug thrust his samurai sword through his open window of his Jaguar and sliced open his hand. The masked man then shattered the rear window of Guzzo's car before taking off, Guzzo said. Cops on the scene found blood on the shattered glass, a blunt tool the assailant used to break the windows and a bottle of booze, WTAE said.

In fact, these days it seems that all you need to do to be considered a ninja, is to wear a pair of trainers:

No they WEREN'T Ninja Nuns!
The secret identities of two nuns who took pride of place next to Prince William and his new wife at the Royal Wedding have been unveiled. They were seen by two billion people around the world, looking on demurely as William and Kate listened to prayers during the service.
But despite their unassuming appearance, rumours began to surface that one of the women was a secret 'ninja nun' intended to protect the Royal couple, after she was pictured wearing black trainers.
Speculation was rife that the taller nun, wearing Reebok Classics with her traditional habit, was on hand to pounce on any intruders.
One internet user wrote: 'I guess they were undercover agents, MI5.'
But today she has been revealed to be Sister Annaliese Brogden - a 52-year-old nun from the Community of the Sisters of the Church. Her identity was disclosed by her bemused father Geoffrey Brogden who said she always wore trainers - no matter what the occasion.

It even seems that the President of the United States is down with the ninja arts too. Forget being the First Black President, being the First Ninja President is the real milestone.

Bill Maher: I’d Bet My Own Money On ‘Multi-Tasking Ninja’ Obama Getting Re-Elected
Bill Maher was in high spirits last night appearing with Joy Behar to celebrate President Obama’s national security success with Obama and laughing, “this has got to eat at [Republicans] because this is supposed to be what they’re good at.” Maher was so impressed with our President, the “multi-tasking ninja,” that he concluded if Republicans can’t give Obama credit now, then they probably wouldn’t ever be able to do it for anything.

More ninjas cleaning up the streets here.

See also: Lame self-defence.

UPDATE:
The ninjas just keep on coming.

Ughh... and it was hairy...

In case you thought the Japanese had cornered the market for perverse and bizarre game shows, Denmark's Total Blackout proves otherwise.



But seriously, if you were a contestant, wouldn't you have foreseen this eventuality straight away upon learning the premise of the show?
You also have to wonder what the guy did to ensure his ass was at just the right level of stankiness.

Whitney has really let herself go

Does there exist a country whose television has the capacity to beat Japan in the oddness stakes?

Based on this evidence, it's The Philippines for the win.



If you are looking for answers, I'm afraid I'm all out.

Someone gave this kid too much red cordial

I'm lamenting my wasted youth right about now. This kid, Angelo Baligad, who goes by the name "Lil Demon" is 8 years old. Make sure you watch til the end. My brain exploded.

The little fella is from Hawaii, of Filipino background. What is it with Pinoys and breakdancing? Add it to the list of things they are awesome at (which already includes karaoke, cooking pork, and being nurses).

Japanese Precision Walking

Apparently these are students at Nippon Sports Science University. At first when watching this, you may decide that this is mildly odd and a waste of time. But be patient. At about 1:45, you'll begin to realise that this is truly some next sh*t. Amazing.

Hudson, the singing sensation taking Indonesia by storm

This is off the chain. From the current season of Indonesia Mencari Bakat (Indonesia Finding Talent)". It's a traditional Javanese song given a unique twist...


His name is Hudson (surname Prananjaya), although when singing as his female alter-ego, he is called Jessica. There are plenty of other videos around from the show of him; he also sings rock and pop, and in Dutch, English and Chinese.

Reminds me of the wonderful Tajik Jimmy.

H is for horse, N is for...

For real. H is for horse, S is for swan, N is for negro.

These children's erasers were spotted by my friend Jo in a stationary shop in Petaling Jaya, Malaysia. They seem to hark back to a bygone era - when no one thought it unacceptable to depict a black baby caricature as just one of a series of animals.

Except of course, these weren't manufactured in a bygone era, these are new. Not sure if they were actually made in Malaysia, but you'd think it'd have to be somewhere in Asia, since there are very few people of African origin there, and the last few decades of progressive thinking in the West about black people has mostly gone unnoticed.

Personally I would have gone for "newt", "numbat" or "narwhal".

Maybe they are made by the same company that made this.

Let's Muscle!

In the course of writing this blog, I've come across a whole lot of frickin' awesome Japanese weirdness.

But this goes straight to the top of the pile. Hands down. Enjoy.



If anyone here speaks Japanese and would care to add some context or interpretation, I would love it.

Lame Self Defence

In the footsteps of Bruce Lee and Tony Jaa come these guys...



I am easily amused. Thank you again, Youtube.

"You are NOT Eurasian" - the weirdest email I've ever received

Occasionally I get negative comments or email regarding my what I write, or what I choose to write about. Sometimes these criticisms are valid. Other times it appears that some people have a preconceived notion of what this blog should be, and how I should think, and they are disappointed when this blog fails to meet their expectations.

In the latter category, this is perhaps the oddest of the lot, sent to me today by someone named Kiera (I won't mention her surname). I assume she is from the US and fancies herself as some kind of spokesperson for all Eurasians, and thus seeks to expose me as some kind of fraud and liar.

You are NOT Eurasian


I came across your blog while looking for websites geared towards Hapa/Eurasian people. I don't know why you're trying to pass yourself off as a Hapa/Eurasian person. It is very evident by your physical appearance and by the topics you discuss that you are part Black (African), and not Indonesian/European as you are purporting to be. Eurasian/Hapa is a term for people like myself who are of European and Asian descent. Just because you are a half Black (African)/half European, who is perhaps now living is Asia, doesn't mean you are Hapa/Eurasian.


I can see that you pepper your blog with Asian topics, so as to appear that you are part Asian and interested in "your" background. But it's clear that most of your blogging is geared towards topics about Blacks, and one of their favorite pastimes: racism. That is typical of someone that is Black (African) or part Black (African), as most of you have serious complexes.


Hapas/Eurasians deal with many different issues than you have. You will never understand what we go through. Please stop trying to pass yourself off as one of us. To do so shows that you have serious issues, or an underlying agenda: to create animosity between people of Asian descent, and their European/White side. That's warped! If that's what you're doing, you've got serious issues!

No sh!t, someone did actually take the time to send that to me. Apparently the idea of me writing what I write on this blog is so mind-blowing that she had to conjure up some kind of bizarre conspiracy theory just so it would make sense to her. You can scan my blog and make up your own mind about whether my blogging is mostly "geared to topics about blacks"; and whether there would be anything wrong with that even if it were true.

So just to summarise her complaints as I understand them:

* I don't look stereotypically Asian enough, therefore I must not be an actual Eurasian.

* Apparently I am black now! Yet I so loathe my "blackness" that I must pretend to be Eurasian.

* No one would possibly be interested in issues affecting black people, unless they were black themselves.

* Only black people are interested in studying racism, perhaps because no other race is affected by it.

* Most black people have serious complexes.

* By frequently talking about white racism, I possibly have a hidden agenda to make Asians and Eurasians hate white people.

* When I do mention things about Asia on this blog (which is most of the time), it is actually a "ruse" to perpetuate the misconception that I have an Asian background.

* Because I am "black", I do not understand what it is like to be Eurasian.

This is how I replied:

Kiera,


My first thought when reading your ridiculous email was "WTF?!?" and I had the instinct to reply with an abusive email calling you all kinds of things. But after 30 seconds I calmed down, and so I'll refrain from being rude and will stick to the facts.


Why would I feel the need to pretend to be Eurasian if I wasn't one? To make it extremely clear: I am Indonesian on my mother's side, and white Australian on my father's side. I'm no mathematical genius, but that equates to being half Asian and half European, or Eurasian.


I am not, and have never been, black or African or anything like that. If you think I look like a black person, that is just coincidence. I would also contend that you have a very limited perspective on what an Asian or Eurasian should look like. If you've ever met Indonesians, you'll know that they are darker-skinned than most other Asians, and don't always have the same features that people from Northeast Asia have.


You can even see a picture of my mother and other relatives at this post:
http://eurasian-sensation.blogspot.com/2007/04/jakarta.html


If you wonder why I sometimes cover issues affecting black people as well, it's because I believe that non-white people in Western countries have a commonality of experience. If black people are affected by racism, for example, then doesn't that also have repercussions for Asians as well? Aside from that, I happen to have an interest in African diasporic culture. Why should that offend you?


I do not set out to write a blog "geared towards Hapa/Eurasian people". Nor do I ever claim to speak for all Eurasians. Ultimately I am a Eurasian person who writes what is interesting to me. If you wish to only read about things that pertain to Hapas/Eurasians, I'm sure you will be able to find it somewhere else.


Your claim that my focus on racism is some sign that I must be a black person is one of the strangest things anyone has ever said to me. Your sentence "That is typical of someone that is Black (African) or part Black (African), as most of you have serious complexes" indicates that is you who have the "serious issues", Kiera. One might even call it racism.


So again, I find it extremely odd that someone who has never met me has the gall to not only tell me what ethnicity I am NOT, but to claim to speak for all Eurasians when you say "Hapas/Eurasians deal with many different issues than you have. You will never understand what we go through."


I clearly do not understand what YOU go through Kiera, because you are clearly a fairly confused individual.


But thank you for sharing with me your extremely narrow pigeon-holed view of what a Eurasian person should think, look like, write about and be interested in.


Have a nice day.

Btw, I am well aware that I don't look particularly Asian (in a sterotypical sense), and there have been numerous people who have asked me if I am Brazilian or South African, for example. But really, if anyone has an issue with the way I look, they should take it up with God. It's not something I can really help.

Anyone feel like a Homo Sausage?

The most chuckle-inducing food product name ever. Photographed by my friend Raffi in Japan. Apparently it's a sausage made out of fish.

More like this here, here and here.

The Indonesian 2 year-old who smokes 40 cigarettes a day

The baby's name is Ardi Rizal. He's from Musi Banyuasin in South Sumatra. And he's a 2-pack-a-day man.

I couldn't believe this was real when I first saw it... but then it IS in Indonesia. And knowing Indonesia as I do, it's actually not all that surprising.

Indonesia has many vices, but cigarette smoking is probably its most common. According to this article, the smoking rate amongst the population has risen in the last 20 years (from 53% to 60% of males). I've seen other estimates that it's closer to 70%. Compare that to neighbouring Singapore, where only around 30% of males smoke.

The reason for Indonesia's addiction? Free reign to the tobacco industry. Cigarettes are cheap, and there are few restrictions on cigarette advertising. Indeed, tobacco companies are ever-present as sponsors for youth events, and can enact strategies to snare young consumers that would be unthinkable in Western countries. And the government enjoys the tax income generated by all this consumption. The smoking rate is likely to increase as well, since traditionally smoking was considered unseemly for women. Yet as Indonesia continues to modernise, these old taboos fall away and young women, particularly in the cities, see smoking as a symbol of freedom and modernity. Hooray.

You can also blame kretek cigarettes. Kretek refers to cigarettes with shredded cloves mixed in with the tobacco - brands like Gudang Garam, Bentoel, Djarum and Sampoerna are the best known. The cloves give a slight sweetness that helps appeal to young people; no wonder then that the US recently passed laws banning them from sale there. In Indonesia however, they are the preferred cigarette of around 80% of the market. This is partly due to their cheapness - they are taxed at a lower rate, perhaps because Indonesia is a major producer of cloves.

The power of the tobacco lobby - not just the foreign-owned corporations, but also the many farmers in Indonesia - means that it is controversial to even claim that cigarettes are bad for you. We take it for granted that virtually all smokers in the West today know that it is a deadly habit, even while they choose to ignore the risks. But such knowledge cannot be assumed in a country like Indonesia.

So you can blame the parents - damn right, since his father first gave him a cigarette to try at age 18 months - but this is only the most extreme example of a nation-wide dysfunction.


UPDATE: Apparently little Ardi Rizal has been given some medical treatment that has reduced his habit to "only" 1 pack a day. So I guess that is sort of good news.